Amber's Amber

« My games at TBR are... | Main | Thoughts for the Lexicon game »

May 25, 2005

Facing new challenges

I've always wanted at least one person that I know and no well to be involved in whatever game I'm in - be that a regular face-to-face campaign, a PBeM or a Con slot. There've always been too many unreasonable fears that have kept me from joining anything completely alone and, I'm sure, which have kept me from trying a game that I would truly enjoy.

This year at TBR, it could be different. Well, no. This year at TBR it WILL be different. I've joined one game that, as far as I know, there is no one that I know well in. No one to fall back on for interaction. No one to purposefully sit near because at least they are someone I know. And this is probably a good thing.

It's about time I started practicing some of what I preach. I have a good friend that has a difficult time in believing in himself. He sees every mistake as a death blow, worries about every overture he makes. And through it all, I tell him that he's got to have faith in himself, that he's worthy of that faith and there are a lot of us that believe it.

And the issue of not joining games without my "safety net" has long been my own lack-of-faith demon. I know that I haven't been gaming as long as some of these people. I know that I'm still learning. And I'm often afraid that I will seem stupid because I don't know something and that I'll take away from everyone else's gaming experience. That, in my nervousness, I'll revert to type by trying too hard and, rather than gaining friends, I'll convince everyone around me that they really don't want to have anything to do with me.

But really, if I don't take the step to do things on my own, what have I lost, beyond a possible good time for myself? No situation is ever as bad as I fear and if everyone doesn't like me/want to game with me again/whatever... so what? I haven't lost friends/gaming partners/whatever. And I will still probably have a good time. As long as I stay relaxed, I probably won't say anything I regret.

So, I'm having my first go at this challenge. Now, it could change and it could turn out that I've got people that I DO know well in this game. But if it doesn't, that will be ok. I'll still have a good time, and I'll be able to share stories about the game I was in with Rich and Paul when I get back rather than have one or the other of them know because they were in it with me.

Posted by amber at May 25, 2005 03:03 PM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/170

Comments

Posted by: Mel at May 25, 2005 05:12 PM

Posted by: Paul at May 25, 2005 08:12 PM

Posted by: Amber at May 26, 2005 10:08 AM